Return to School Jitters

The new school year is upon us all. My 11 year old reminded me just prior to school starting that he was “ready to go back to school.” I am reminded that there are many young people that do not want to go back to school. Not because they dislike school and the education process, but that they dislike what occurs while they are in school. The excitement for these children is replaced by foreboding and fear. What am I talking about you may ask? Bullying!

 

Those youth who experience bullying tend to be more reluctant about attending school, especially when they are entering a grade which requires transitioning to a different school setting. Transition is an extremely difficult time, it means physically and emotionally they are going through changes. Bullying is defined as using superior strength or influence, aggressive behavior, or negative, unwanted actions to intimidate or otherwise make another person uncomfortable. These behaviors are usually reproduced over time and are generally used to force a person to do what the bully wants.

 

Most schools have what they believe are effective anti-bullying programs and campaigns. However, what is quite interesting is that most common place for bullying is in the playground estimated at 44%. The second most common place is in the classroom at 28%. This makes perfect sense if you observe the playground activities of most schools in your community.

 

The playground is an area that has so many things going on. There are those children who play sports, kickball, basketball, football, soccer or some other sports. Then there are those children who are playing on the jungle gyms and outside play equipment. Lastly, there are those children who are off on their own, in cliques, or small group’s chit chatting or playing some other type of activity. But what many of us do not see is that the adults, those people who are supposed to supervisor our children, in most cases are parent volunteers. They are clumped together, talking amongst themselves. Parent volunteers are just that they are Lunch Moms and Dads who are helping out their school and community by offering supervision. But what lacks is that most of them receive little or no training in the area of dealing with and being able to identify when a child is being bullied.

 

Bullying is seldom an extremely overt act. In the early stages it is extremely subtle and quick. Only after a period of time of prolonged bullying does is it overt and aggressive. As a parent, you should be contacting your school and finding out what training the staff is given, ask the question about volunteers and lunch room staff. Because much of what causes those feeling of uneasiness are those moments on the playground or cafeteria where your child may become a target of bullying.

 

The Classroom

Next is the classroom, anti-bullying programs have focused on children and how they can deal they can prevent and deal with bullying. What training have your teachers in your community received? There is little training for teachers to learn how to identify bullying that occurs in the classroom. Much of what occurs in the classroom occurs while the teacher is in the classroom and in full view of the teacher.

 

Teachers need to not only learn that it occurs right in front of them, but that once they identify it, how they are going to address it properly in the classroom. By this meaning is the teacher going to place the “target” of the bullying into a more uncomfortable situation by assigning blame on the “target.”

According to children in school this all too frequently happens and this creates the belief in children that telling an adult does not help the problem. Parents need to stay active and learn what techniques their teachers are using to address bullying in school to prevent this type activity from continuing.

  

 

Here are some tips that you can go over to help your child deal with bullying.

•  Tell them to stop.
• Walk away. Do not let them get to you. If you walk away or ignore them, they will not get that satisfaction.
• Protect yourself. Sometimes you cannot walk away. If you are being physically hurt, protect yourself so that you can get away.
• Tell an adult you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. In some cases, adults need to get involved for the bullying to stop.
• Find a safe place. Go somewhere that you feel safe and secure like the library, a favorite teacher’s classroom, or the office.
• Stick together. Stay with a group or individuals that you trust. 
• Find opportunities to make new friends. Explore your interests and join school or community activities such as sports, drama, or art. Volunteer or participate in community service.

 

Once your child has opened the door, help your child begin to problem-solve. You can role-play different situations and encourage your children to respond in a positive manner. You can also help your child meet new friends or join a new team or club.

  

In order to avoid a “he-said, she-said” type argument with the parent of the accused bully, you should refrain from contacting the other parent. Instead, school personnel should be involved. You want to report the situation so the teachers and administrators of your children are aware of the brewing issue and can keep a closer eye while they are on school grounds.

  

Don’t let your child be another bully statistic. Teach your child how to avoid bullying and what to do if bullying occurs. If your child is involved in a bully situation encourage them to talk to a trust adult.