Talking to your children about Pornograpy

by Robert Tornabene

We are always looking for a outstanding stories and useful resources to bring to parents, family and youth support workers. Well we found another great series of articles done by the New York Times. The topic is "How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography".

The article has a series of stories attached from the Accidental click, the playdate, search history, filtered family and allowing (some) access. The link above takes you to the introduction and in the body of the story is the table of contents for each section. We truly thought this would be of value to anyone who works with or has their own children.

The introduciton of the story offers some helpful tips which include:

How do you respond in the moment?
“Kids listen to how we say things almost more than what we actually say,” said Elizabeth Schroeder, the executive director of Answer. Don’t freak out. Take a deep breath. React calmly. Talk it over with a spouse or friend, and then choose a calm moment to follow up.

How do you actually start the conversation about pornography?
Let your children know that they can ask you about anything they might have seen. Even if they have no questions, start the conversation with feelings, Mr. Klein suggested, by asking: “How did you feel about what you saw? Was it scary? Exciting? Confusing?” Assure children that whatever they’re feeling does not make them a bad person.

How do you talk to children of different ages about pornography?
“If a 4-year-old is looking at sexually explicit material, it’s probably making no impact on them whatsoever,” Mr. Klein said. A number of parents said in interviews that their children had searched for sexual terms when they were as young as 8 or 9, usually to better understand sex. The best response at that age? Honest sex education that reflects a parent’s values. Teenagers, on the other hand, have a greater need for understanding what is real versus what is produced for entertainment, Mr. Klein said.

What if your children don’t want to talk about what they've seen?
Some children might not have any specific questions, or shy away from talking to their parents about explicit materials they’ve seen, but that doesn’t mean they’re not curious or don’t have questions. An incident can present an opportunity for parents to provide guidance as children develop their ideas about sex, said Mr. Klein.

How have other parents handled this conversation?
On the following pages you can read five stories of how parents have handled the profusion of explicit content available to their children, as well as expert advice for handling different situations. Begin with the story of Jeanne Sager, and what happened when she left her 6-year-old daughter alone with a "My Little Pony" video in "The Accidental Click."

you can read the entire story here.

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