What every parents fears!

By Robert Tornabene

Imagine your worst nightmare; your child has just been killed. The very thought is usually too shocking for many parents to comprehend. Any parent would say I will do anything to stop that nightmare from being a reality, right? But, what is even more shocking is that many parents sit idle by while this horror unfolds before their very eyes.

Parenting is a daunting task, one fraught with obstacles, triumphs and failures. As parents we strive to do the best for our children, in our hearts we all want that. But, what happens when what we wish and desire for our children clashes with the reality of our failures? Do we seek help, guidance or work for a positive change, or do we sit back and leave the fate of your child or teen to chance? I think many parents believe that at times if they ignore the problem long enough it will just go away.

The reality is that it won't! Problems with anger, drugs, addiction, criminal activity, or any of the other dozen issues facing teens today just don't go away. We all wish they could, but we all know they just sit there exacerbating the situation, waiting like a virus, too find their victim weak and run down. The thought that your life might emulate some tragic reality can be frightening to many. In some it might even be paralyzing, but what we have to remember and what many won't admit is that you are not alone. Image is not everything, and perceptions can be way off.

There are many families who believe they can keep their problems quiet, that its no ones business. They erroneously believe that its more important what others think about you versus what you do to help your child. This can result in a spiraling out of control beyond repair. Do not fall for the "image" excuse! Your 'neighbors' care very little in what happens, beyond how they will spread the gossip. Don't fall for prey to this misguided belief.

It's very easy to make 'excuses', 'work', 'stress', 'issues' etc, but the reality they are all excuses to our own procrastination. Yes there are obstacles, financial issues face everyone in these times, but many times we fail to prioritize our needs. This is usually the beginning of the "excuse train." Once the "excuse train" starts rolling, it is difficult to stop, slow to turn, and almost impossible to reverse direction.

The savage truth is there are successes, many more, than the failures. Remember our memories are short and easily influenced. Remember this phrase from a journalist, "if it bleeds, it leads" is a sad commentary on humanity but, still a valid truth. Regardless of this successes with at-risk teens occur all the time. These successes are surrounded by tears, laughter, setbacks and joy. Much of these successes are synonymous to a war. There are casualties, injuries and battles which are won or lost, but with conviction, determination and the belief that what you are doing is just you will prevail.

What is more just than helping an at-risk youth? 'But it’s so difficult' some say. Agreed, but the alternative mentioned earlier is not an option that is acceptable.