Dating Violence: 15 Tips to Identify if You Are a Victim

Dating violence is not just hitting. It can be yelling, threatening, extreme jealousy, incessant name calling, constant calling or paging, and even sexual abuse and other tactics used to control you.

 

Warning Signs: Are you a victim of teen dating violence?

1.  Does your boyfriend get jealous when you talk with others?
2. Does he put you down?
3. Does your boyfriend want to know where you are at all times?
4. Does he try to control what you wear to school or when you go out?
5. Does your boyfriend say he can’t live without you?
6. Does he frighten or intimidate you?
7. Does your boyfriend try to make you choose between him and family, school or friends?
8. Does he lose his temper, and throw or break things when he’s mad?
9. Do you feel like you have to apologize for or explain your boyfriend’s behavior?
10. Do you feel like you have to justify your behavior to your boyfriend?
11. Are you afraid to break up with your boyfriend?
12. Does he threaten to kill himself if you break up with him?
13. Has your boyfriend ever hit a wall or a locker near you?
14. Has he ever destroyed your stuff?
15. Has your boyfriend ever held you down, shoved, hit, or kicked you?

Strategies for safer dating

•  Stay in touch with friends and stay involved in activities you enjoy.
• Listen to your instincts and believe in yourself. Trust your own judgment if you have concerns about someone you’re dating.
• Learn about teen dating violence and know the warning signs.
• Learn about and seek out healthy relationships.
• Have money and/or a phone or some way to call for help or leave by yourself if you need to.
• Go out in groups or meet up with others when you go out.

Safety tips for teen dating violence victims

• Make and keep a list of helpful phone numbers, like supportive friends, hotlines, etc.
• Keep a dated record of the abuse.
• Plan and rehearse what you would do if your partner confronted you or became physically abusive.
• Go out to public places, meet other people or let other people know where you’ll be.

Protecting yourself after the break-up

• Try not to be alone. Tell friends what is going on. Eat lunch with friends and walk with them to class.
• Tell teachers, counselors, coaches or security guards what is happening.
• Change your routine, ask to rearrange your class schedule.
• Change your cell number.
• Change your route to and from school.